You know you're a douchebag when... [Archive]

HEMISFEAR

01-05-09, 06:56.32 AM

BJB

01-05-09, 07:06.01 AM

You drive in the left lane and refuse to move over!!

SRT8bby

01-05-09, 07:19.31 AM

You drive 85mph in the left lane and have some jackoff behind you. So you move over to let him pass, but they follow b/c they don't want to be first in line to get busted. Then they speed up and down with you. Pussies.

sound&security

01-05-09, 11:49.18 AM

you pull the door moldings off your hot 300 SRT to make it look clean and you rip the paint off with it. [chad]

HEMISFEAR

01-05-09, 11:56.47 AM

^^^LMAO.

Tahde

01-05-09, 12:31.06 PM

You still got you Christmas Tree up knowing damn well that day is done and over with, and just reminds you of how much money you just spent.

Oh wait.............................................. ...

CHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT T!

(logs off) :Disappointed_anim:

:grinyes:

The_Main_Event

01-05-09, 01:44.55 PM

you pull the door moldings off your hot 300 SRT to make it look clean and you rip the paint off with it. [chad]

hahahahaha that would be me!!

You spend Christmas day washing and waxing your car all morning and afternoon at your work [Steve]

HEMISFEAR

01-05-09, 02:11.33 PM

People who have to get in front of you at a checkout and then use the exact change each and every time. Douches.

markus

01-05-09, 04:05.39 PM

budoboy

01-05-09, 04:35.56 PM

I'll start this one off lol...

You wear your Bluetooth headset everywhere you go and leave it "on" in anticipation of your next call just so that you can attract attention to your self-important douchy self. :pounding table:

Funny! I was drag racing yesterday and the guy I was up against in a Toyota MR2 wore one while racing. I thought he was a douche already but the bluetooth put him over the top.

cheatek

01-05-09, 05:39.26 PM

Haha, don't you mean Nissan?!?! hahahahaa

Sooooooooooo you're a douche when ... you call someone up 6 months after buying a used car from them (on the day after X-mas no less) to yell and complain!!!! FUGGIN DOUCHEBAG TRYIN TO BE THE VICTIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mag 8

01-05-09, 06:47.36 PM

Funny! I was drag racing yesterday and the guy I was up against in a Toyota MR2 wore one while racing. I thought he was a douche already but the bluetooth put him over the top.

douchious-maximus, all hail king douch...

HEMISFEAR

01-05-09, 07:09.01 PM

You know you're douchebags when you dress like this...

129

:pounding table:

The_Main_Event

01-05-09, 07:43.25 PM

You know you're douchebags when you dress like this...

129

:pounding table:

i agree on this one!!

paxton

01-05-09, 09:52.11 PM

You know your a douchebag when you drive a Mustang and rev at me while driving by me before I can pull out into traffic knowing full well that I'll never be able to get behind you on a single lane road with 10 cars between us. Lucky FUCK!!!!!! I wanted a piece of that shit!

cheatek

01-06-09, 01:15.57 PM

HEMISFEAR

01-06-09, 01:27.47 PM

You know you're a freakin' douchebag when you drive an annoying little Mazda 6 weaving in and out of traffic and you think you your ride's the shiz.

cheatek

01-06-09, 01:35.47 PM

You know you're a douche when you come up to a green light braking waiting for it to turn red!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!

DEACON

01-06-09, 03:13.03 PM

You know you're douchebags when you dress like this...

129

:pounding table:

That's, "You know you're pussy-whipped when..."!!!

LOL

1BAMFR

01-06-09, 04:01.47 PM

......When you're in Toys R' us with your son buying Thomas the Train things and you have to take a massive shit after drinking a Large coffee from Dunkin Donuts.........(I heard)

DevssrT

01-06-09, 07:58.35 PM

...You drive a Prius...

Frozen

01-06-09, 09:20.12 PM

according to top gear, when you drive a audi. But that was only 2008, previously it was if you drove a BMW. LOL

Knightrider03m

01-06-09, 11:21.30 PM

You know your a douchebag when you take off hard at the light then stop going at it once my car starts to catch up too you.

You know your a douchebag when you are driving on a freeway that only have two lanes and you speed up to the car on the right and then stay at the same speed as the car on the right just so you can block the whole freeway.

You know your a douchebag when you race someone and miss 3rd gear.

Mag 8

01-07-09, 06:48.46 AM

You drive an anemic, base model mitsubishi lancer -
But after playing Need4Speed, you decide that it's actually an Evo so you buy a ridiculous wing, put a big fart can on it, buy lots of extra plastic body parts, some vinyl graphics, $100 alloys and a 10" sub for the trunk.
Once complete, you drive around aimlessly with the seatback so far reclined that people can only see your limp wrist that's usually draped over the top of the steering wheel because you're so fly.
Apart from zero resale value, the $ 5,000 you spent on mods mean nothing performance-wise except for the addition of your Turbonator.

http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj199/joeandleen/2003-mitsubishi-lancer-4.jpg

cheatek

01-07-09, 01:13.02 PM

...You drive a Prius...

that goes without saying, haha

You drive an anemic, base model mitsubishi lancer -
But after playing Need4Speed, you decide that it's actually an Evo so you buy a ridiculous wing, put a big fart can on it, buy lots of extra plastic body parts, some vinyl graphics, $100 alloys and a 10" sub for the trunk.
Once complete, you drive around aimlessly with the seatback so far reclined that people can only see your limp wrist that's usually draped over the top of the steering wheel because you're so fly.
Apart from zero resale value, the $ 5,000 you spent on mods mean nothing performance-wise except for the addition of your Turbonator.

http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj199/joeandleen/2003-mitsubishi-lancer-4.jpg

LMAO!! Come on Joe, we all know that's your dd'r there, nice try! hahahhaha:D

Mag 8

01-07-09, 01:42.40 PM

LMAO!! Come on Joe, we all know that's your dd'r there, nice try! hahahhaha:D

Oh shit, Scott, you got me!

cheatek

01-07-09, 01:55.27 PM

Oh shit, Scott, you got me!

It was the Turbonator that gave it away ... you douche, hahahhahahaha!!!!!:D

cheatek

01-07-09, 02:01.01 PM

Stevo sucks man penis all day long!!!!

Retro

01-07-09, 08:09.17 PM

You know you are a douche bag when people actually call you a douche bag.

Mag 8

01-07-09, 08:45.40 PM

Knightrider03m

01-07-09, 09:02.18 PM

You know your a douchebag when you drive around in a H2 Hummer.

mommiety

01-07-09, 10:56.13 PM

It's derogatory, yeah...but can someone please tell me what, exactly, a douchebag is?

I think I know what a douche is (a feminie cleansing device, right? Vaginal rinse...cheese sprayer, canal cleanser, whatever) but can I assume that a "douchbag" is simply the aparatus in which this douche device is deposited priot to being thorown in the garbage?

Fuck, I may be a douche for even asking!

A douche bag is a piece of equipment for douching - a bag for holding the fluid used in douching. To avoid transferring intestinal bacteria into the vagina, the same bag must not be used for a vaginal douche and an enema.

Mag 8

01-08-09, 06:17.45 AM

A douche bag is a piece of equipment for douching - a bag for holding the fluid used in douching. To avoid transferring intestinal bacteria into the vagina, the same bag must not be used for a vaginal douche and an enema.

Wow, OK thanks, I think :eek:

Mag 8

01-08-09, 07:52.09 AM

Might have been easier for me to digest coming from Marky instead of a hot girl ;)

paxton

01-08-09, 12:08.00 PM

REALLY!?! I HEARD THAT TOO!!!!!!!!

cheatek

01-08-09, 12:08.33 PM

It's derogatory, yeah...but can someone please tell me what, exactly, a douchebag is?

I think I know what a douche is (a feminie cleansing device, right? Vaginal rinse...cheese sprayer, canal cleanser, whatever) but can I assume that a "douchbag" is simply the aparatus in which this douche device is deposited priot to being thorown in the garbage?

Fuck, I may be a douche for even asking!

Yep! haha

Might have been easier for me to digest come from Marky instead of a hot girl ;)

Fixed ... hehe

cheatek

01-08-09, 12:15.56 PM

:D hahahahahhaa, lmao!!

paxton

01-08-09, 12:19.56 PM

stevo had sex with marky last night

HEMISFEAR

01-08-09, 12:24.54 PM

Damn, that' not playing fair lol...although I think they can do it to you too there buttjuice.

cheatek

01-08-09, 12:26.45 PM

Dang stevo, that's just mean man, mean, lmao ... leave his posts alone buttboy!!!!!!!!!!

cheatek

01-08-09, 12:27.47 PM

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey, I have a s/c, it's just on my Mustang is all. :D (where it's needed, haha)

btw, you know my s/c is a PAXTON!! WHAT A GREAT NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT!!

cheatek

01-08-09, 12:30.37 PM

Uh ... ok, truce. :D

cheatek

01-08-09, 12:31.09 PM

You know you're a douche when you're a hypocrite

HEMISFEAR

01-08-09, 12:37.57 PM

LMFAO! You're guys suck ass.

cheatek

01-08-09, 12:40.58 PM

LMFAO! You're guys suck ass.

haha, you want in on some bend over monkey boy!! :obscene:

cheatek

01-08-09, 12:47.26 PM

Ok, back on topic ...

you know youre a douche when you pull out right in front of someone on a two lane road going 1 mph when the limit is 35. THEN after causing the oncoming car to nearly rearend you you punch it so he gets an earful of your Honda fart can exhaust. FUGGING DOUCHE RICERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEMISFEAR

01-08-09, 12:49.33 PM

Ok, back on topic ...

you know youre a douche when you pull out right in front of someone on a two lane road with a limit of 35 mph going 1 mph. THEN after causing the oncoming car to nearly rearend you you punch it so he gets a full ear of your Honda fart can exhaust. FUGGING DOUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Total douche. You know you're a douchbag when you constantly mess up orders at the fastfood window and wonder why you're not making ends meet. :pounding table:

cheatek

01-08-09, 12:51.50 PM

You know you're a douche when you abuse your staff powers and FUCK WITH SOMEONES SIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STEVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the truce is off buttboy

paxton

01-08-09, 02:12.51 PM

I don't need one to beat your slow ass!!!!!!! Start thinkin' about a date so I can plan for your asswhoopin!Hahahaha

The_Main_Event

01-08-09, 02:40.34 PM

You drive really close to the car in front of you cuz you are in a rush to get some place and you are in a traffic jam

Mopar2Ya

01-08-09, 03:57.35 PM

Douche= Anyone who has dual 8" tips(or more) on any vehicle that has less than 6(should be 8 ha ha:curtain:) cylinders!

cheatek

01-13-09, 05:37.34 PM

when you put a 24" dildo up your butt (did it on the way into work today)

hehe

RSA

01-14-09, 01:38.18 PM

http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/political-pictures-fine-lin.jpg

Dr.Steve

01-14-09, 02:21.15 PM

you know you're a douchebag when you're the guy at the counter of Norwood auto parts and you tell me that there isn't a single American car that requires 0-40w oil as I buy 7 quarts of it for my Jeep. . what a fag

cheatek

01-15-09, 04:40.57 PM

you know you're a doucebag when you're the guy at the counter of Norwood auto parts and you tell me that there isn't a single American car that requires 0-40w oil as I buy 7 quarts of it for my Jeep. . what a fag

Hahaha, you too huh?

You know you're a douchebag when you're the guy at the counter of NAPA Auto Parts and have no idea what an SRT is and have to go outside and look at the CAR!!!!!! what a jerkoff:chair1:

Dr.Steve

01-15-09, 05:40.05 PM

funny shit Scott, fucking guys at those stores don't know dick from their faces

cheatek

01-15-09, 05:53.51 PM

funny shit Scott, fucking guys at those stores don't know dick from their faces

No kidding, I'm sick of being told by these dickwads that my car doesn't exist. I love that one, it doesn't exist, "there's no such thing". Friggin azzhats, I'm DRIVING it!! .:greenchainsaw:

HEMISFEAR

01-15-09, 06:17.41 PM

No kidding, I'm sick of being told by these dickwads that my car doesn't exist. I love that one, it doesn't exist, "there's no such thing". Friggin azzhats, I'm DRIVING it!! .:greenchainsaw:

mmmk, these guys should be taken out and buried alive. I've only had guys tell me that car isn't listed here...but they all knew what a freakin SRT8 was.

Megatron

01-16-09, 12:41.29 AM

You know your a douschebag when:

your name is Kyle Bush.:D

You are 16 years old and drive your MazdaSpeed 3 literally INTO a taco bell dining room while you are off work as an employee there causing 20k worth of damage to the store and then two weeks later try and call out the store's general manager's old boss who drives an SRT8 Charger for a race cause you have a turbo....

Matt McKenzie

01-16-09, 01:54.52 AM

You know you are a douchebag when you shoot mortars and rockets at the motherfuckers trying to save your stupid fucking country!!!

cheatek

01-16-09, 10:26.30 AM

you know you're a douche when you don't notice your post was changed 3 days ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahaa, fool! :D

when you put a 24" dildo up your butt (did it on the way into work today)

cheatek

01-16-09, 11:39.40 AM

:tantrum1:

blk6.1

01-16-09, 03:06.58 PM

You know your a Deuche Bag when you sit on "LX Forums" all day and suck those fags dicks!!:jackoff::bananaplug::

ATLSRT

01-16-09, 03:58.46 PM

you workout at the gym in compression under armour and and nike shirts (sorry just got back from the gym. end rant)

HEMISFEAR

03-23-09, 04:25.43 PM

you workout at the gym in compression under armour and and nike shirts (sorry just got back from the gym. end rant)

Haha, I agree. I have come across the biggest douchebag ever to walk the earth and he's everything that people love to hate....the following website takes it to another level lmao!!!

http://forums.joerogan.net/showthread.php?t=83729

:ROTFLMAO::pounding table:

HarryBallz

03-23-09, 05:26.05 PM

God how did I miss this thread.......

You know you're a DBag when you have all your windows down, stereo cranked, bass all the way up, and the Radio Shack Realistic 6x9's are distorting so bad they're about to blow and you think it's HITTIN'!!

You're a DBag when your 6x9's are exposed on the back upper dash.

You're a DBag when your tire and rim combo is 3x the value of your car.

cheatek

03-24-09, 05:17.34 PM

when you miss you're buddy's b-day (sorry stevo)

HEMISFEAR

03-24-09, 05:56.22 PM

Haha, I agree. I have come across the biggest douchebag ever to walk the earth and he's everything that people love to hate....the following website takes it to another level lmao!!!

http://forums.joerogan.net/showthread.php?t=83729

:ROTFLMAO::pounding table:

^^^ Honestly, if you haven't clicked on this link...those guys on that forum tear him apart and find out mucho personal details including his phone number and personal email. This douche has been outed for the world to see...